


All Grown Up

by HitanTenshi



Category: Bleach
Genre: Established Relationship, M/M, Role Reversal, almost added the underage tag because there is brief discussion of the concept, and mention of past instances, but there's no underage stuff between shuu and ken
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-16
Updated: 2016-04-16
Packaged: 2018-06-02 16:41:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,282
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6573922
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HitanTenshi/pseuds/HitanTenshi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kensei has a disturbing dream that makes him doubt the rightness of his relationship with Shuuhei. Shuuhei has every intention of proving to Kensei that he's not a kid anymore.</p>
            </blockquote>





	All Grown Up

Shuuhei walks beside him, little toothpick legs swinging back and forth double-time in order to keep up with his quick and broad stride. At some point, he stops, but isn't sure why, and looks down at the boy. That little round face, those bulbous gray eyes gazing up at him with something like  _worship_  sparkling in them. Not that he would ever admit to this aloud, but Shuuhei is the cutest little thing, and sometimes he wants to squash him in a bear hug. Sometimes he even does just that.

"Taichou?" the boy pipes up, curiosity pulling his mouth into an open 'o'.

"What is it, kid?"

"You're awesome."

Like Shuuhei doesn't tell him that every day. "Thanks, kid." And he chuckles. "I try."

"I wanna stay by your side forever, taichou."

His chest warms a little at hearing that. When Shuuhei smiles, kid's a little ball of sunshine. He wishes that expression would never leave Shuuhei's face. Grinning at the boy, he reaches down and runs a hand through the tangle of black hair.

"I'd like that, kid. Just work on getting stronger, so you can keep up easier, all right?"

Shuuhei nods, and a tinge of pink creeps across the bridge of his nose. Closing the distance between them, the scrawny boy wraps arms around his waist (which is about as high as Shuuhei can reach) and beams up at him.

"I love you, taichou."

"Brat." But that's his way of saying, " _I love you, too,"_  and Shuuhei grins upon hearing it.

"Will you hold me?"

"Ah, hell, don't see why not…" And he scoops the kid up into his arms, giving him a little squeeze as the boy reattaches those bony arms to him, this time around his thick neck.

Shuuhei kisses his cheek, and damn it all if that doesn't make everything seem right with the world.

"Kensei~"

Wait.  _That_  isn't right. The way the kid says his name just then… it's all wrong. The tone, the keening whine.

"You want me, don't you, Kensei~"

He's frozen in place. Just what is the kid saying? Yeah, he wants him around, but… not like…

"You want to throw me down on the ground—"

Not like  _this_ …

"—and  _fuck_  me, don't you?"

And that's when Kensei feels his face hit tatami mat. For a moment, he doesn't know where he is, or when, or why. He doesn't think of much of anything except the chilling way Shuuhei had said something so  _abhorrent_.

But when he finally picks himself up from the floor and sits up proper on his futon, he looks over beside him and remembers: Shuuhei is right there. Older, taller (taller than Kensei, even), with Kensei's mark tattooed on his face under an inked blue line. Shuuhei is right where he's been for almost a month now: in Kensei's arms, in Kensei's bed. He's so strong and mature and beautiful, and Kensei had given into his hollow's need to  _own him_  so easily when, after his return to Soul Society, Shuuhei had finally worked up the guts to tell the vizard how he'd felt about him all this time.

"I want to give you everything," Shuuhei had told him, those gray eyes not as big anymore, but still sparkling with worship when they looked at him. "I love you like I've never loved anyone else, taichou, and I… I want to be yours."

And Kensei had made Shuuhei his, and that had been the end of it.

But that dream just now… Kensei wipes the cold sweat from his forehead and gets up to wash his face before he'll head back to bed. Even as he dries off with a towel, though, arms wrap around his chest. They're still bony, scrawny things, but not as much they had been back then.

"You okay, Kensei?"

His voice is so deep now (not to mention possibly the sexiest sound he's ever heard).

"'M fine, kid." Hanging up the towel, Kensei pivots in Shuuhei's grip and returns the hug, one brawny hand detouring to reach into the black hair. It's still a tangle, especially now that Shuuhei has started growing it out again.

"You sure?"

"Yeah."

Shuuhei kisses him, and Kensei just wishes it didn't so suddenly feel very wrong to have the kid's lips on his.

"I love you, taichou."

Shit, the Shuuhei in his dream had said it just like that, too, but the automatic response comes from Kensei all the same.

"Brat."

"You look tense. Wanna go a round before going back to sleep?"

And Kensei knows he doesn't mean sparring. At least, not with zanpakuto, anyway. Shuuhei is nothing if not full of the passionate desires of a young man in love.

As if he can think about doing Shuuhei with the image of that bright-eyed kid in his head. "Nah, 'm good."

Unfortunately, that must tip his boy off that something isn't right. " _You_ , not wanting sex?"

"I'm not  _that_  horny."

Shuuhei snorts. "Could've fooled me."

"You're a pain, brat."

"But you love me anyway."

Damn it. "…Yeah, that I do."

Shuuhei clearly isn't convinced that all is well, from the way his gray eyes narrow. "Talk to me, Kensei. What's wrong?"

And Kensei knows no amount of, " _It's nothing,"_  will get him out of it. "I just had a weird dream is all. Not feeling up to it after that."

"Wanna talk about it? I mean… hell, you've listened to  _my_  nightmares…"

That he has. In fact, were he to think too long about the sorts of subconscious horrors floating around in his boy's brain, he probably wouldn't be able to sleep  _at all_  for worry. Shuuhei shouldn't have to feel unsafe in his own skin, his own head. Even with his height and his deep voice, Shuuhei is someone Kensei feels a gut urge to  _protect_  with everything he has.

But is that proof that he still sees Shuuhei as a kid who can't protect himself? Shit…

"…You were in it," is the best place he finds to begin.

Those gray eyes widen, uncertain. "What did I do in your dream to spook you so much?"

"What you  _usually_  do these days," Kensei summarizes, "except… this size." And he holds a hand to about his diaphragm.

Ah,  _there's_  comprehension. "Oh… damn." He had expected the kid to be pissed at him, but instead: "So…how was I at that size?"

"Don't fuckin'  _joke_  about it!"

Kensei can't stop himself from snapping, and he feels Shuuhei flinch. "Shit… look, it didn't even get that far, thank any number of gods. Woke myself up first."

Frowning, Shuuhei straightens and takes a step back to give the vizard space. "Is this the first time this has happened?"

"I think I'd  _remember_  dreams like that if I'd had them before," Kensei grumbles, feeling more and more disgusted with himself the longer this conversation goes on.

"…I'm not  _mad_ , Kensei. I mean… considering how long I've wanted to be with you…'

Kensei's eyes sharpen fiercely. "Don't stand there and tell me that you wanted me to bed you back then."

Shuuhei smirks and shrugs, as if that would be the most natural thing in the world. "Not that very day, no… but kids grow up faster than you might think in the higher-number districts."

Disgust remains, but the flavor of nausea changes, and he suddenly closes the small distance and grips Shuuhei by the shoulders with harsh hands. "Just what does  _that_  mean? Just what the hell are you saying!?"

His boy's smile falters, making Kensei feel like all the blood in his body has frozen. "A kid with a burgeoning reiatsu had to find some way to get fed, and… people kept telling me how cute I was, so… when I got desperate enough, and I had to decide between my life and my pride, well…" The rest goes without saying.

He'd known from the start that he hadn't been Shuuhei's first. The kid had been too knowledgable, too damn  _skilled_  to have been a virgin the first time Kensei had claimed him. But this… Kensei feels guilty, but hasn't quite figured out why. He just leans forward until his forehead bumps gently against Shuuhei's. "…shit…"

"Oi, what's done is done. You don't need to sound so cut up about it."

Why isn't  _Shuuhei_  cut up about it!?

"I mean, sure, it was humiliating, but…" And he could swear he feels Shuuhei's face heat up. "Made it a lot easier to imagine it was you doing it."

He isn't hearing this. He isn't seeing this in his head. The scrawny little waif and some scumbag in a shady alley. His boy, so small and vulnerable, left to shiver alone in the aftermath with his only comfort the money for his next meal. It's utterly, bone-deeply  _wrong_. And… and…

"Kensei?" Shuuhei's hand cups his cheek — his long fingers roughened by the callouses of swordplay and guitar. "Where are you right now?"

Most assuredly not envisioning a Shuuhei half this one's size whispering  _his name_  as he's wrecked and ruined by a stranger.

"It happened. It's done. I'm here now with you; it doesn't matter."

But, somehow, it matters so immensely that Kensei's chest tightens from the weight of it.

"Kensei, your reiatsu is freaking out. Is it your hollow?"

If only it were.

"…Kensei, say  _something_.  _Anything_." And, then it's as if he can hear an idea click into place in Shuuhei's head, and the kid backs away once more, except this time, his gray eyes are full of hurt. "Is this… because you know I'm damaged goods now?"

 _That_  gets his mouth working again. "Fuck, kid, no. Never that! I just…" Explaining his emotions has never been Kensei's strong suit, but he tries. Shuuhei  _deserves_  that much. "I feel…  _responsible_. I feel like… like I took your whole life from you, or something. Shit, it's like you made me your  _god_ , and I… I'm sure as hell not one."

Thank heavens, that chases away the abandoned look in Shuuhei's eyes, and the kid shakes his head, even managing a weak smile again. "You're really a moron sometimes, Kensei."

"What was that, brat?"

"I mean it. You,  _take_  my life from me? You  _gave_  me my life!" His boy steels himself, as if in preparation for some earth-rattling declaration. "And, if I decided to give my life back to you, then that was  _my_  choice.  _Mine_. You didn't force me to do anything. You don't have to feel  _guilty_  that I fell in love with you."

"…I know that, kid."

"Do you? Because the look on your face tells me you think you somehow groomed me from a world away. Well, get the wax out of your ears:  _you didn't_. The end."

"But—"

"Kensei… you've always let me make decisions for myself. You've let me  _be_  myself. That…" He draws in a shaky breath. "That's something  _Tousen-taichou_  never let me have. To him, I was… clay. So he molded me, and none too gently. Part of me is glad for it, but… I'm starting to see how… the way he treated me was wrong. Being with you has helped me see that. So, please…"

Shuuhei steps within his reach again, winding spindly arms around Kensei's neck and pulling him close.

"Give my younger self some credit. Sure, I made some rash decisions along the way, but I knew what I wanted. And just because I've known it for so long doesn't make it invalid."

"…I know."

"I'm not a child, Kensei."

"I know that."

"I love you, and no one forced me to do that."

"I  _know_. Dammit…'

"Kensei."

Their eyes meet, and he's flooded with pride at the strength he sees in his boy's.

"Kiss me."

And Kensei does. Shuuhei's warmth pours into him, grounding him and sweeping away the guilt-inspired dream. But he still can't say for sure that he doesn't feel slight unease at the gap between their ages and experience, at the influence he'd had on Shuuhei's life, steering the kid down this path that had caused him so much pain.

"Kensei…" There's a hint of irritation in his boy's voice now. "Just what do I have to do to convince you that I'm a grown-ass  _man_?

He can't help but grin. "You can start by stopping being so goddamn  _cute_. All keening and writhing and begging me to give you more. Far as I can tell, you're an impatient little brat."

Shuuhei's eyes darken, as if reflecting the state of mind he enters. There's the glint of Kazeshini's blades in those eyes. "You think you'd be any different down there?" Those long fingers knot into his silver hair and tug with just enough demand to make Kensei grunt and exhale tensely. "Let me lead, and I'll show you just who's cute."

" _You're_  gonna top  _me_?"

"Do you think I  _can't_?" In an instant, the reiatsu in the room changes, closing in around Kensei like a harsh wind blowing from all sides. It's eerie and chaotic, but it has such  _power_. For all of Shuuhei's humility and subservience and goddamned precious devotion to him, the kid has indeed grown up. The  _man_  standing before him could  _easily_  have become the new captain of the Ninth, if Kensei hadn't come back to Soul Society, and, truthfully, he wouldn't have felt good about passing his division on to  _anyone_   _else_. From the eye of this beautiful storm, Shuuhei commands.

"Get on your knees, Kensei."

And, looking up at his boy with awe and pride flourishing in his chest, curious and eager to see just how this man will show him how strong he has become, Kensei does.

**Author's Note:**

> First KenShuu ficlet! I hope you all enjoy my humble first offering to this precious rare-pair
> 
> I've fallen head-over-heels for this pairing, and I hope the canonical resolution for Shuuhei and Kensei will at least be… better than their current state (sweats). I just want them to be happy TvT
> 
> I hope to write a lot more about KenShuu and TouShuu because (clutches heart) Shuuhei has such devotion to his captains, and it's so emotional and great writing fodder.


End file.
